The Art of Forgiveness
Last week I wrote about loyalty and how I my loyalty was called into question. Well in the midst of all that I must say it bothered me, I mean it really bothered me and I decided to change the dynamics of the relationship. I mean the events really put me off and made me look at the other person differently and I just did not want to be bothered with that person again. But under the circumstances I have to deal with this person so I decided to put up some boundaries and just move on.
Well as I was going about my daily routine with these new boundaries the Holy Spirit really began to deal with me. Me why was Holy Spirit dealing with me? I wasn’t the problem, the other person was! Well that is what I thought until I stopped debating the issue with God and began to listen. Holy Spirit showed me that yes I was hurt and put off by the situation but I had not really forgiven the person for the offense. You see I thought just because I prayed for the person and set these boundaries that I was over it and had forgiven but the more I debated it and meditated on the issue, the more I did not like the person nor did I want to interact and I found everything wrong in that person. I was being eaten up with unforgiveness and I was miserable. Yes miserable.
You see when you don’t deal with unforgiveness it will make you miserable. You become trapped in an emotional prison of bitterness, hate, stress and discontentment. This prison now has you either wanting to get back at the person for the wrong that they have committed and you find yourself so focused on the person that you can’t live your life without thinking about how to make the offender hurt just has bad as you are hurting. Now my offense was not to the point of wanting revenge but my character was not right. So what did I do? I gave this person power of over me to change my behavior. See when you do not forgive you relinquish your life to the offender. You give them power over you, to change who you really are. I recently read a blog by Dr. Cindy Trimm and she wrote “painful experiences have the ability to create negativity that poisons the soul and spirit, spilling out like an acid that corrodes everything and everyone attached to us. Instead of forgiving ourselves and others, bitterness fills our soul”. This is why it is important to forgive and do it quickly. You don’t want the acid of bitterness to erode your heart and character. Don’t give the offender power over you. God is the only one you should yield yourself too. When I say quickly don’t get me wrong some offenses take time to heal but you can make an immediate choice to forgive and then ask God to heal that hurt. Healing is a process and by faith you will get pass the offense and be able to move on. You have the key to unlock the emotional prison, the key is forgiveness. You may never receive the apology that you deserve but set yourself free and forgive.
“When you forgive and forget, you don’t disregard the negative occurrence—you simply choose not to give it power over your life. Forgiveness gives you permission to change your life story by writing a new life script built on new paradigm”. Dr. Cindy Trimm