Monthly Archives: June 2014

The Art of Forgiveness

The Art of Forgiveness


Last week I wrote about loyalty and how I my loyalty was called into question. Well in the midst of all that I must say it bothered me, I mean it really bothered me and I decided to change the dynamics of the relationship. I mean the events really put me off and made me look at the other person differently and I just did not want to be bothered with that person again. But under the circumstances I have to deal with this person so I decided to put up some boundaries and just move on.


Well as I was going about my daily routine with these new boundaries the Holy Spirit really began to deal with me. Me why was Holy Spirit dealing with me? I wasn’t the problem, the other person was!   Well that is what I thought until I stopped debating the issue with God and began to listen.   Holy Spirit showed me that yes I was hurt and put off by the situation but I had not really forgiven the person for the offense.   You see I thought just because I prayed for the person and set these boundaries that I was over it and had forgiven but the more I debated it and meditated on the issue, the more I did not like the person nor did I want to interact and I found everything wrong in that person. I was being eaten up with unforgiveness and I was miserable. Yes miserable.


You see when you don’t deal with unforgiveness it will make you miserable. You become trapped in an emotional prison of bitterness, hate, stress and discontentment. This prison now has you either wanting to get back at the person for the wrong that they have committed and you find yourself so focused on the person that you can’t live your life without thinking about how to make the offender hurt just has bad as you are hurting.   Now my offense was not to the point of wanting revenge but my character was not right. So what did I do? I gave this person power of over me to change my behavior. See when you do not forgive you relinquish your life to the offender. You give them power over you, to change who you really are. I recently read a blog by Dr. Cindy Trimm and she wrote “painful experiences have the ability to create negativity that poisons the soul and spirit, spilling out like an acid that corrodes everything and everyone attached to us. Instead of forgiving ourselves and others, bitterness fills our soul”. This is why it is important to forgive and do it quickly. You don’t want the acid of bitterness to erode your heart and character. Don’t give the offender power over you. God is the only one you should yield yourself too. When I say quickly don’t get me wrong some offenses take time to heal but you can make an immediate choice to forgive and then ask God to heal that hurt. Healing is a process and by faith you will get pass the offense and be able to move on. You have the key to unlock the emotional prison, the key is forgiveness. You may never receive the apology that you deserve but set yourself free and forgive.



Always Love



“When you forgive and forget, you don’t disregard the negative occurrence—you simply choose not to give it power over your life. Forgiveness gives you permission to change your life story by writing a new life script built on new paradigm”. Dr. Cindy Trimm

Guest Blogger: Forgiveness


This week guest blogger is my daughter Lexus.  I thought it would be good for her to share her experience with forgiveness and how God helping her to overcome hurt.  I hope you enjoy her first blog post maybe it won’t be her last.  She is a wonderful person and such a inspiration to me and others.  ENJOY…..



Today I want to write about forgiveness. Forgiveness for me has been a hard thing to do. Let me help you understand why. Let me start off by saying I am a saved believer of God who struggled the most in my walk. Every time something happens my faith was the first thing that went down. Last year I experience something hurtful at the hands of someone I love. A lot of hurtful stuff was said and I was really hurt and wounded.


Eventually, I forgave the person and I thought we were fine after that. Well in January the week of my birthday another awful event happened from the same person and this time it was my breaking point. I refused to be hurt any longer and this time instead of my faith going down, it lifted me up. I hung on to my faith and forgiveness came in. I had to learn that forgiving the ones who hurt you doesn’t make them right but it will set you free from that burden. I always have to pray to God to help me to continue to forgive. Every time I think of that situation I tell God thank you for healing my heart. I want to leave you with a scripture: Ephesians 4:32 “Be kind to one another, tender-hearted, forgiving one another, just as God in Christ forgave you”




Loyality! Is the Essence of Loyality Lost?


Is the essence of loyalty lost?


This week I was faced with the question of being loyal to a person and standing for what I believe in. It really took me by surprise because I really consider myself to be a pretty loyal friend. I always try to stand for what is right and not condone injustice.   I can not go into the specifics but just know this was misplaced anger. Although the anger was misdirected it did make me think about the essence of loyalty and how quickly people   will turn on you whether you make a mistake or not or when you don’t do what they think is right in their eyes. I am reminded of a story in the bible with about David. David was in Ziglag because he was running from Saul the active king of Israel. Saul despised David and really wanted to kill David. This is another example of misplaced anger. Saul hated David because he was chosen. He was jealous but instead of him looking within himself he took his anger out on David. Sometimes people will let their anger out on you even though you are not the direct cause of their anger. The fact is they have allowed jealousy and envy to take root. (That was a side note, not the meat of my story) .  So anyway back to David and Ziglag, David and his men went off to fight and when they came back the enemy had invaded the camp and stole all of their supplies and kidnapped their wives and children. David and the men were devastated and here is where the things turn really bad. The men were hurt and needed someone to blame so they turned on David the leader.


What happened to loyalty? Now David’s family was also kidnapped, his stuff was gone and he is the leader and now the men that he leads wants to kill him. Did loyalty just walk out the door? Yes it did. Many times people will find a target to be angry at without having to place the blame on them or accept the fact that in some instances no one is to blame. Sometimes circumstances are just out of our control and instead of rallying together in times of adversity the devil wants to see a team dismembered and often times we let it happen. You see it is our nature to blame someone, remember Adam and Eve in the garden. Eve blamed the serpent, Adam blamed Eve, when they both were at fault because they knew the rules. For many it is easier to find fault in someone else rather than accept that you may be the blamed for the circumstances in your life.



I truly believe that in order to be a loyal person you must possess good character and not just good but Godly. Your character produces good ethics whether it is to people or work. Godly character will not allow you to mistreat people or turn your back when times look difficult but it will help you to treat others like you would want to be treated. The bible tells us to be kind to one another and to be tenderhearted we are to be trustworthy people. So what is the lesson in all of this? When you get upset don’t direct your anger at the innocent but reflect, evaluate the situation and then pray. Give it to God and in the end stay the loyal, dependable person that God created you to be.


Always Love


You are not a Statistic!

Open Arms

This weekend has been wonderful my eldest son came home Thursday night after spending a year in Korea. He joined the Army a year and half ago and was stationed in Korea. It was the first time we have ever been apart prior to him leaving I think the longest we have ever been apart was for a weekend and that wasn’t too long before he left. I have a very tight knit family, we do everything together so having him home felt like everything was complete. My boys, my daughter, my husband and oh yeah I cannot forget our newest addition my granddaughter were all in one place, yes I was a happy momma!  I was holding my granddaughter, gazing in her eyes and I began to just reflect over my life and became consumed with emotions. Emotions of thanks, awe and just gratefulness for which God has brought me.

You see my life according to statistics was not supposed to turn out like this, with a loving husband and three incredible kids, a career and most of all saved and doing ministry. Let me explain, I was 17 when I had my eldest son, a junior in high school and the father of my son was absent. I did not have a job and did not know how I was going to take care of my son I did not know what in the world I was doing but I have the most supportive parents a girl could ask for, though they were disappointed but they did not abandon me. My mom helped me and showed me how to be a mother to my son; I got a job and went back to school for my senior year and graduated. Grace was with me then even though I did not know it; God’s Grace allowed me and pushed me to finish school. Well then a year later I had my second son, I was still a single parent even though I was in a relationship it was not a healthy one; my daughter came a few years later. Getting out of an unhealthy relationship was not easy for me but I knew I wanted better for me and my children. I did not know it then that God had a plan for my life but I did have a praying mother. I believe to this day that the good that happened to me was because of the prayers and faith of my mother.

My life was going down a spiral of depression, alcoholism and poverty I had to go out of where I was but I did not know how. My mom who is a minister, was having a healing workshop for women (mind you I was not very active in church during this time, I would send the kids but I didn’t go). So I went and that day, my mom was teaching and an overwhelming feeling of release came over me, it was an abandonment of my old life and acceptance of the new life God was so eagerly trying to release to me. That day in my mother’s workshop I accepted Jesus as my savior, I was broken, flawed and not worthy but He saw fit to love me despite of the brokenness. That day my life changed, I became a better mother and a better person. Fast forward ten years later I am married to a wonderful man, my boys have graduated from high school, one is serving in the Armed forces, the other one is in college and working in ministry, my daughter is in early high/college school and will graduate next year. God has called me in the ministry and I work with my husband in our church and just last year I graduated with a bachelor’s degree in Healthcare Management and this fall I will return back to school to get my masters in Christian education.

Why am I telling you all of this? Because I want you to know that statistics can be wrong, the world says a single mother with 3 kids will not make it, that boys without a man in the home will end up on drugs or in jail, statistics says that I am supposed to be living in poverty and not working in a management position. I want you to know that the same Grace that is with me is with you. I want you to know that you can make it, you don’t have to settle for unhealthy relationships but you can and deserve to have true love, an amazing love that is sweeter than a honeycomb. The same Jesus that came to my rescue is waiting with open arms to rescue you and give you this AMAZING GRACE. Make the step to abandon your old life and embrace the new life with Jesus at the helm of it. You don’t have to be broken but receive the Grace of healing and new life.

All of my Love

Psalms 5: 11-12 But you’ll welcome us with open arms when we run for cover to you. Let the party last all night! Stand guard over our celebration. You are famous, God, for welcoming God-seekers, for decking us out in delight.

Starting Something New


Well this is my first blog post for GraceDays. I am so excited about this new adventure and I hope you are just as excited to hear my heart. I am still in awe of how God has laid this ministry on my heart to share the grace of God to all those who have a desire to hear. By nature I am a shy person but lately God has positioned me in situations that are not so conducive to being shy and starting this ministry is one of those situations.

Starting GraceDays is new to me and we know starting something new, it can be scary! Even though you know what you’re doing is good but you still have that nervousness and the fear factor of failure. For me starting this blog and beginning a new ministry on my own is new territory and I have a lot of mix emotions. I am sharing my heart, my ups and my downs to the world and it is a daunting feeling. Feelings of what if no one likes what I am saying, what if people judge me because of what I say. All of these feelings of doubt and insecurities rise to the surface. But then you know I have to come to my senses and say “God gave me this vision to help people”. My ups and downs, my triumphs and defeats will help someone in their struggle. I look at it this way if one person is encouraged by what I say or write then the fear factor of judgment is okay. See when you are doing the work that God has called you to do, the devil will use anything to get you off course and have you doubt the promise or plan that God has for you.

You see anytime you tread new territory there will be some nervousness because you don’t know if you are going to be received or how it is going to work out. Those feelings of inadequacy will surface but you know what it’s okay because we are inadequate and we don’t know the unknown but we do know the one who is adequate and who knows the future and that is God almighty and because of His son Jesus, he qualifies us to charter new territory. He guides us every step of the way. Our reliance is on God and he tells us with him we can do all things. Jesus gives us the grace to be successful and fulfill every plan that he has for us.

So don’t let fear and emotions or even the “what ifs” stop you from doing something new. Go for it and watch God work it all out for your good. There is a world waiting for you to birth your purpose. Go get it.


Genesis 12:1-3 The LORD had said to Abram, “Go from your country, your people and your father’s household to the land I will show you.2 “I will make you into a great nation,
and I will bless you; I will make your name great, and you will be a blessing.[a] 3 I will bless those who bless you, and whoever curses you I will curse; and all peoples on earth
will be blessed through you.”[b]